Post by brassmonkey on Apr 8, 2009 14:00:36 GMT -5
HASN'T THE MORTAR LOGISTICS ENGINEER LAID THAT PATH YET?
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New job titles have been given to a variety of workers
Wednesday April 8,2009
By Mark Reynolds
DID your media distribution officer deliver the newspaper this morning before the domestic technician left on the school run?
Those politically correct – and particularly bonkers – new job titles emerged yesterday in a list of everyday roles given pompous new names by employers.
Apart from the humble paperboy and housewife, petrol-station attendants, dinner ladies and even fruit pickers have also been “modernised” to make the roles more appealing to potential staff.
Petrol-station staff are now known as petroleum transfer engineers, dinner ladies as education centre nourishment consultants and fruit pickers are five-a-day collection operatives.
Other ridiculous rebrandings include transparency enhancement facilitators – window cleaners to you and me. And people who dish out dodgy burgers in city centres at 3am are now mobile sustenance facilitators.
Yesterday a spokesman for www.onepoll.com, which carried out the study, said: “The practice of dreaming up an utterly bonkers title seems to have gone into overdrive.
“I wonder whether deep down the people who occupy these positions are happy with them.
“After all, surely if you are a window cleaner you would describe yourself as one. And I cannot see a paperboy describing himself as a media distribution officer when telling his uncle he had landed a part-time job.”
Researchers spent four months trawling the internet for Britain’s most bizarre job titles.
Among other gems was a frontline customer support facilitator – call centre worker – while labourers are now mortar logistics engineers.
Factory workers are mass production engineers and panel beaters have become vehicle restoration engineers.
Story Image
New job titles have been given to a variety of workers
Wednesday April 8,2009
By Mark Reynolds
DID your media distribution officer deliver the newspaper this morning before the domestic technician left on the school run?
Those politically correct – and particularly bonkers – new job titles emerged yesterday in a list of everyday roles given pompous new names by employers.
Apart from the humble paperboy and housewife, petrol-station attendants, dinner ladies and even fruit pickers have also been “modernised” to make the roles more appealing to potential staff.
Petrol-station staff are now known as petroleum transfer engineers, dinner ladies as education centre nourishment consultants and fruit pickers are five-a-day collection operatives.
Other ridiculous rebrandings include transparency enhancement facilitators – window cleaners to you and me. And people who dish out dodgy burgers in city centres at 3am are now mobile sustenance facilitators.
Yesterday a spokesman for www.onepoll.com, which carried out the study, said: “The practice of dreaming up an utterly bonkers title seems to have gone into overdrive.
“I wonder whether deep down the people who occupy these positions are happy with them.
“After all, surely if you are a window cleaner you would describe yourself as one. And I cannot see a paperboy describing himself as a media distribution officer when telling his uncle he had landed a part-time job.”
Researchers spent four months trawling the internet for Britain’s most bizarre job titles.
Among other gems was a frontline customer support facilitator – call centre worker – while labourers are now mortar logistics engineers.
Factory workers are mass production engineers and panel beaters have become vehicle restoration engineers.
